A Fresh Year Or Sad Still?

     My first post this year was also on the sad side, Though it doesn’t reflect my current state of mind. 

What is my current state of mind? That is a question for later.

I remembered saying I had a waddling anthology of poems. So I decided to post one of the least liked ones, sorry it was a Sad one. 

But wait, Why am I apologizing for a Sad poem? 

Is sadness not a normal emotion to be felt?

 We can’t be happy 24/7, it is a mental illness to be.

I noticed people tend to tiptoe around sadness as if it is a huge scar on the face. The scar attracts your gaze but you don’t want to be rude and stare.

So you sneak glances at the scar when you think its owner is preoccupied. Forgetting a stare is as pointed as a thumb, One which digs into the face you are staring at. 

Back to my current state of mind, what or where is it? I don’t know, I am not extremely happy and it is tinged with a little amount of sadness, a limbo of sorts.

Have I felt sadness? Maybe.

Have I felt bone-deep sadness? Do you mean Grief? Maybe. 

(I have a Goldfish memory for emotions I have felt, coupled with a good cry or a hearty meal, I am back to factory settings).

  I am not hung up on my emotions. Whatever I am feeling, I let it be felt. I don't run from my emotions nor do I try to hold on to them.

 I am like the man left at sea, who has two options. The only option I see for me will always be to float, I definitely won't pick drown. 

I won't hold on to happiness afraid of not being happy tomorrow, nor will I wallow in sadness afraid nothing is coming after it. 

Clinging to things or emotions turns them to dead weight, a ton tied at your feet which either swiftly or slowly drowns you.

On the topic of Emotions, There was a prompt about grief on Twitter, it was “what does grief feel like?”

My answer was: A friend. 

Grief is a friend who hangs around because emptiness is the next guest, and until happiness comes, it stays on as a companion.

I surprise myself at times because what in the World is that? I really do write profound words.

What I am trying to say with all my profound words is that a poem is a poem, whether sad or happy.  Secondly, Emotions whether soul-tearing sadness or the giddiest happiness should be felt in their entirety.

Now thinking about it, my limbo is gratitude.

Last year, Things hadn’t fallen into place like I wanted them to, but I can’t deny the fact I have come a long way from where I was. 

While I am tinged at the edges with disappointment at those things I couldn’t get or get done. I am happy to be alive to have another go at it this year.

Therefore, Happy New Year. Cheers to another year to be filled with tears, laughter and a lot of what the eff am I doing?.